NBA CHAMPIONSHIP : Lakesrs vs. Celtics : Nobody Quite as ‘Bad’ as Worthy, and That’s Mighty Good for Lakers

See if you can guess which team won.

Here are the clues. In the Celtic locker room, someone handed Coach K.C. Jones a potted flower. He immediately placed it on his chest, leaned back and closed his eyes.

In the Laker locker room, actor Don Johnson of “Miami Vice” worked his way to James Worthy’s locker, shook Worthy’s hand and said these words without the benefit of a script or Ricardo Tubbs:

“James Worthy, the baddest dude.”

Shame on you, James, you bad dude. Just look what you did.

In this funny world where bad means good, no one was badder than Worthy, who was simply awful Tuesday night in Game 1 of the NBA finals. He planted a big 33 points on the Celtics and antagonized them no end during a 126-113 Laker victory.

If there is an end in sight, Larry Bird couldn’t see it.

“I don’t think there’s anyone who can stop him,” Bird said of Worthy. “We’re just hoping we can contain him the rest of the way.”

Worthy’s opening game against the Celtics really did contain a couple of surprises, however. For one, he got 10 assists. Usually, when the ball leaves Worthy’s hands, it’s on the way to the basket, but his 10 assists were the most in any one game in his career.

There was one other tale of the unexpected. Worthy actually missed seven shots. Of course, he made 16 others, but Worthy’s playoff shooting has been so consistently good (or is it bad?) that anytime he misses, it’s considered unusual.

But even by Worthy standards, he gets pretty high marks. By halftime, he had 23 points, and 15 of them came in the second quarter, when the Lakers ran off to a 69-54 lead.

For Worthy, it was the usual repertoire. Laker fans know it by now. Go ahead, shoot. It’s kind of like a dance. One, two, three, dunk. Slide, dribble, swoop, swish.

But through it all, peering out from behind his goggles, Worthy’s expression rarely changed. He wears that mournful, hound dog expression as if it were his trademark, which is also sort of what his spinning, slashing offensive moves seem to be.

Even though Worthy looks as though he is lost in perpetual sorrow, he promises that he is truly overjoyed. Really.

“I’m really excited,” he said.

Then why don’t you look it?

“Looks are deceiving,” he said. “It’s how you feel inside, internally.”

Outside, externally, the Celtics aren’t exactly thrilled with him. As Jones said, Worthy is not only bad, he’s awesome. And that’s not the worst part, either.

“The worst part is he knows it,” Jones said. “He’s certainly at the top of his game. It’s there, it’s there. He’s worked, sweated and scrapped like hell and he’s got so much talent. Then, boom, you get hit with it.”

But even in the midst of all these very nice words, there is probably a need for some caution. After all, it’s only one game, and a blowout doesn’t necessarily mean much. There are two reasons, 1985 and 1986 on your calendar.

In the 1985 final series, the Lakers lost Game 1 by 44 points, then beat the Celtics four of the next five games to win the championship. Last season, it was nearly the same thing in reverse. The Lakers blew out the Houston Rockets in Game 1 of the Western Conference finals then quickly folded up like a card table and lost four straight.

They never got to the finals, and Worthy doesn’t want that to happen again.

“We’re focused, more focused than at any time since I’ve been here, five years,” Worthy said.

“This is what we’ve been waiting all year for,” he said. “I’m more confident in myself, I’m emotionally patient and poised. We’ve learned from the past.”

All the bad (really bad) things that befell the Celtics in Game 1, and all the bad (really good) things that the Lakers did may occur again in this series if Worthy continues to be the baddest dude around. For the Lakers, obviously that’s good.

“We’re going to have to play better,” Worthy said. “We’re going to have to. You have to expect them to come out a little stronger. The way we played tonight wasn’t easy. We worked very hard to sustain our game. And you know, 20 points on the Celtics is nothing for them.”

What is something for them, however, is their rebounding, which really was bad. The Lakers also won that game, 47-32, and Worthy had nine, one fewer than Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who led everybody on the court. Unless Boston evens up the rebounding, the Celtics may be having a lot more trouble than they had in Game 1 with slowing the Laker fast break.

“They send their big guys to the boards, and that makes it difficult for them to get back because we’re looking to run,” Worthy said. “I don’t care who it is. If you have your two big guys going to the boards and they don’t get the ball, we’re going to run.”

If that was the Celtic strategy, it didn’t work. They had just 5 offensive rebounds compared to 17 by the Lakers. Worthy had four all by himself.

Laker Coach Pat Riley wasn’t exactly going overboard about the series just yet.

“I feel very optimistic about our club,” he said.

And what about the baddest dude? Did those big, bad Lakers make a statement with their runaway victory?

“We’re not into making statements,” Worthy said.

Soon enough, they’ll be into Game 2, and for right now, that’s all you can say.