Big Enough to Tackle Downhill

Former World Cup ski champion Phil Mahre was telling an interviewer that current champion Purmin Zurbriggen of Switzerland, 6-3 and 225 pounds, is unusually large for a skier so adept in the slalom and giant slalom.

“That’s the kind you want in the downhill,” the interviewer suggested.

Said Mahre: “That’s the kind of guy you want to put at middle linebacker.”

Hall of Famer Mickey Mantle, at a stop on baseball’s winter banquet circuit, was giving the needle to Jose Canseco of the Oakland Athletics, who last season became the first player in major league history to hit 40 home runs and steal 40 bases in the same season.

Said Mantle: “If I had known they were going to make such a big deal out of 40-40, I would have done it two or three times myself.”

Brad Lauer scored the 5,000th goal in New York Islanders history Saturday night in a 5-3 victory over the Hartford Whalers.

When club officials told Lauer later that he will receive a plaque to commemorate the occasion, he had other ideas. “I could use a car,” he said, “or maybe a trip.”

It hasn’t been the best season for sports agent Ron Grinker, who has several clients in the National Basketball Assn.

One client, Derek Smith, was suspended indefinitely by the Sacramento Kings for berating Coach Jerry Reynolds and probably will be traded or released.

Another, Jeff Grayer, has missed most of his rookie season for the Milwaukee Bucks with a series of ailments.

Bart Kofoed was waived without pay by the Utah Jazz after breaking the cheekbone of teammate Bobby Hansen with a punch at a party.

And Danny Manning of the Clippers suffered a career-threatening knee injury.

Grinker’s only encouraging news is that Manning’s injury--a torn anterior cruciate ligament in his right knee--is not as severe as doctors originally feared.

Identity crisis: A reporter drew a blank when he called the Chicago White Sox’s spring training facility in Sarasota, Fla., and asked for new Manager Jeff Torborg, who was in team meetings there.

“This is the ticket office and I don’t even know who the gentleman is,” said the man who answered the phone.

When told of the incident, Torborg, a former catcher for the Dodgers and Angels, said: “That’s been the story of my whole career.”

Guard Danny Ainge of the Boston Celtics, who once played infield for the Toronto Blue Jays, was concerned when he heard rumors that he might be traded to the Miami Heat, a first-year expansion team.

When asked what he would do if the rumored deal went through, Ainge said: “Call the Blue Jays.”

When the New York Yankees announced the re-signing of veteran pitcher Ron Guidry on Friday, General Manager Bob Quinn said: “I would not preclude Ron from appearing in different roles.”

Responded Guidry: “I’m not going to be playing the role of Hamlet, am I?”

Quotebook

G.L. Van Horn, on his son Darrin, who beat Robert Hines in a middleweight title fight Sunday: “The next time he fights, he’ll tear the ‘S’ right off Superman’s cape.”