White House Visit: It’s Now or Never?

In reviewing things I haven’t done (most of which I don’t want to do), I mentioned that I had never been invited to the White House by a President.

I had no thought of provoking such an invitation. I was sure the President would never be aware of my availability. I certainly did not intend to write and invite myself.

But at least two readers have interceded. Elizabeth Dobbs, a bright young woman whom I have quoted here before, has indeed written to President Bush, imploring him to invite me and my wife to the White House.

“Mr. Smith wants to go to Washington,” her letter began. “I have enclosed his article . . . which lists the things he has not done in his life. Heading the list is an invitation to the White House from a President. Because of Jack Smith’s age and general health, chances are only you can rectify this omission in his life. . . .”

Mrs. Dobbs gives weight to her plea by suggesting that “millions of readers” will experience the visit vicariously through my column. That is an obvious exaggeration, but no more so, I hope, than Mrs. Dobbs’ ominous suggestion that I will not live through Bush’s Administration to see another President in the White House.

When she wrote me, Mrs. Dobbs had not yet received an answer from the White House. However, the White House staff was more expeditious in responding to a similar request from Donald M. Levenson of Northridge.

“Hoping that both you and President Bush are forgiving of my temerity,” he writes, “I subsequently dropped a note to that Power-That-Is, detailing your credentials and asking the boon that your wish be granted. The enclosed letter was the reply, not exactly opening the door, but not closing it either.” It was on White House stationery:

“Dear Mr. Levenson:

“On behalf of the President, I would like to thank you for your letter recommending that Mr. Jack Smith be invited to the White House.

“It is President and Mrs. Bush’s hope to include as many people as possible in their official functions. However, space is extremely limited and often precludes us from including all who may wish to come. We so appreciate your thoughtful suggestion and are happy to keep Mr. Smith in mind for future reference.

“Please accept our appreciation for your interest along with our best wishes.

“Sincerely, LAURIE FIRESTONE

“Social Secretary to the White House

I consider that a very courteous and adequate response, considering the circumstances. After all, I would certainly not have expected a personal note from the President. I think Mr. Levenson should feel gratified to have heard from the President’s social secretary, rather than from one of her assistants.

So there we are. We’re on the list. Lightning may strike any day. The President, or at least his social secretary, is thinking of us. I am glad that Mrs. Dobbs asked the President to include my wife in his invitation. I never accept social invitations that do not include her. I left her alone too many times in my youth while I was out carousing with my colleagues. (I’ll bet the President can identify with that .)

I hope no other readers write the White House urging the President to invite us. I’m afraid he will begin to suspect some sinister political motive.

Of course it won’t be cheap. My wife will certainly have to have a new dress. Money would be no object. Who knows--someday it might hang in the Smithsonian Institution. I know she examines every dress Mrs. Bush wears, and I trust she would be careful not to wear anything that went beyond the First Lady’s sense of propriety.

Naturally, we will have to pay for round-trip air fare, and for a hotel room in Washington, unless, of course, the President sends Air Force One for us and invites us to spend the night in the White House. I wonder if there’d be any chance of sleeping in Lincoln’s bed.

I do hope that if anyone else writes the President in my behalf they do not tell him that I voted for Dukakis. After all, as a survivor of the Japanese attack on Hawaii, how could I have voted for a man who thought Pearl Harbor Day was Sept. 7?