RESTAURANT REVIEW : Decor at Beaches Seems a Bit Fishy but the Food Is Surprisingly Good

Even the door handles are fish. Little cast metal fish, that is, mounted on glass double doors that look as if they were lifted from a municipal aquarium.

Beaches is just about the most distinctive restaurant to hit Glendale since the original Bob’s Big Boy. Proprietor Alan Mayer--who owns Fenderbender’s Diner on Brand Boulevard, just around the corner from this place--has come up with a restaurant like a theme ride in Disneyland.

It has blue walls with models of flying fish and marlin mounted on them like trophies, a 12-foot multicolored sand pebble sculpture behind the bar, enormous palm trees strung with silk orchids and hibiscus--even a replica of Dolphin Boy, hanging from the ceiling like Miss Muffet’s spider. The waiters wear leis over their cerulean Hawaiian shirts.

And everyone is slurping those ridiculous Trader Vic-inspired drinks, fishbowl-size monstrosities in which the operative word is Dole. I insisted that my friend’s wife try the Fog Cutter, a huge glass contraption with a mini-volcano of dry ice plunked down in the middle. When she saw the thing, she said, “I’ve never been so embarrassed in my entire life.”

The real surprise here, though, is the food. Some of it is silly, of course, things such as coconut shrimp Ono Nui that you would never even consider outside of a place like this. But the funny thing is, everything tastes pretty good.

I’m guessing that chef Stan Bridgeman, a young graduate of San Francisco’s Culinary Institute, sneaked some garlic into the batter on those coconut shrimp because they sure are good. The batter is super crunchy, but not killer sweet. And the huge prawns inside are firm and assertively fresh.

There’s a long appetizer list, where some discretion is advised. Not with regard to the blackened ahi, though, which is one of the menu’s real superstars. It’s microtome-thin slices of fish fanned out over a bed of rice noodles. The skin is lightly seared and the spicing is delicious. I know a few sushi chefs who would turn in their headbands for the recipe.

Sushi is available, natch--for instance, a bland and thoroughly dispensable version of California roll. Better to stick with things from this side of the Pacific Rim, such as good littleneck clams in a covered porcelain terrine. The garlic-infused broth is fragrant with fresh tomato, and the clams melt in your mouth.

Bridgeman’s regional American cooking is a bit more unpredictable. His crab cakes leave me a bit cold. They are 100% Maryland blue crab, all right, but they’d be better if they had more zip, or maybe if the three-mustard sauce weren’t so sweet. But his seafood gumbo stew is just sensational, the match of any I’ve tasted in greater Los Angeles. It’s a murky brown gumbo with lots of bite, thick with scallops, prawns, calamari, snapper and the perfect amount of rice.

Dinners are elaborate affairs, served on large platters and bamboo serving trays; you can watch them being enthusiastically prepared in the copper-encrusted display kitchen. Most of the fresh fish the restaurant serves daily--such as ahi, swordfish and snapper--are broiled over hot mesquite coals, meaning that they can come up on the dry side. They will come with four (count ‘em, four) sauces: roasted sweet pepper, soy-lime-ginger, cilantro-lime-ginger and mango chutney. I prefer the fish plain, myself, with a little lemon squeezed on top.

These large platters, incidentally, bear good Maui roasted potatoes (advertised as a Hawaiian version of scalloped, for some reason) and an excellent mix of finely cut steamed vegetables, as well as a choice of chowder or salad.

Take the Kilauea white chowder--a creamy, smoky version with whole clams and soft chunks of potato swimming around in it. The salads might be good plain, I suppose, but the dressings can be positively inedible. The raspberry vinaigrette reminds me of Life Savers, and the creamy garlic dressing is nearly as sugary.

The waiter will bring a tray full of desserts, but if you’re like most of the people here, you’ll be far too stuffed to eat any. The chef’s wife makes most of them, and they’re all excessively rich. If by some chance you feel like dessert, try the velvety white chocolate cheesecake or the chocolate torte, a mousselike cream between layers of spongy chocolate cake. And bring some Dramamine along, just in case.

Suggested dishes: blackened ahi appetizer, $9.95; seafood gumbo stew, $11.95; coconut tempura shrimp Ono Nui, $16.95; grilled swordfish, $17.95.

Beaches, 137 N. Maryland Ave., Glendale, (818) 409-9228. Lunch 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Mondays through Saturdays; dinner 4 to 9 p.m. Sundays through Thursdays, 4 to 10 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays. Full bar. Parking in adjacent structure. American Express, MasterCard and Visa accepted. Dinner for two, food only, $35-$60.