McCord Working on a Plan to Get Last Word at Augusta

Gary McCord, banned by the Masters Tournament for “distasteful” remarks as a CBS television golf commentator, is planning to get back to Augusta National next year--as a player.

“I’m going to practice my butt off,” McCord told the Augusta Chronicle. “I’ve got seven tournaments to play in (on the PGA Tour) before Augusta next year. What a story it would make if I made it there.”

Yeah, the Masters’ hierarchy would be thrilled.

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Add Masters: Bob Kravitz of the Rocky Mountain News writes that announcers should learn the new Masters lexicon:

“A missed putt will now be referred to as being ‘directionally challenged.’ A bad lie will be ‘an unfortunate topographical anomaly.’

“And a parking-lot fight between John Daly and a golfer’s father will be noted as a ‘gentlemen’s disagreement on principle.’ ”

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Trivia time: Who holds the Ram record for most field goals in a game?

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Table trauma: Earl Strickland was frustrated after he was eliminated in the first round of the Challenge of Champions billiards tournament on Sept. 2 at the Mirage hotel in Las Vegas.

Of the table playing surface, Strickland said: “They forgot to mow the greens,” adding, “Jack Nicklaus wouldn’t play on this surface.”

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Demolition man: Howie Long, former Raider star defensive lineman, on his dreams of a Hollywood career:

“I’m not interested in doing a shimmering-moonlight-through-the-Venetian-blinds, sweaty-bodies type of movie. I just want to blow stuff up.”

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About time: Tom Weir of USA Today: “Chinese women have dominated the World Aquatic Championships, continuing to raise suspicions about whether they know how to beat the drug test.

“I dunno. With over a billion people to recruit from, a better question might be what took them so long to get good?”

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FYI: The 41-41 tie between Stanford and Northwestern on Saturday was well short of the NCAA Division I-A record for highest-scoring tie game--a 52-52 standoff between Brigham Young and San Diego State on Nov. 16, 1991.

Highest-scoring tie game for USC was 31-31 twice, against San Diego State in 1992 and California in 1990. For UCLA, it was 27-27 against Purdue in 1960.

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Oddity: Arizona State scored 10 points in losing to Miami, 47-10, in a most unusual manner--two safeties and two field goals.

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Trivia answer: Bob Waterfield, with five against Detroit in 1951.

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Quotebook: Randy Knorr, backup catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays, on his idle time during the strike: “This isn’t that really new to me. I’ve gone weeks without an at-bat. I’ve gone a month.”