LAUGH LINES
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On the Campaign Trail: Former President George Bush endorsed his son for president. “Whoa, there’s a stretch. . . . Today Dan Quayle’s father said he was leaning toward voting for Dan.” (Jay Leno)
On the Campaign Trail II: The Waldorf Astoria hotel will be the site of a fund-raiser for Steve Forbes. “Well, there’s an urgent need, huh? Helping a billionaire raise money. In fact, after that, let’s get together and see if we can find a girl for Ricky Martin, too.” (Leno)
In This Corner: Dennis Rodman has been signed as a professional wrestler. “Let’s hope this isn’t just a first step in a run for governor.” (Bob Mills)
Chris Pina’s Essential List of the Day
Changes in Las Vegas now that a former lawyer for the mob is mayor:
* No hits on holidays.
* The new “three strikes and you’re out on bail” law.
* If Siegfried and Roy break contract, they’ll wake up in bed with head of white tiger.
* New weight limit for all elevators: No more than three Elvis impersonators per car.
* New city motto: “Do you know where your money is?”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
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