LAUGH LINES
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Ready, Aim, Fire: NATO airstrikes reportedly hit a hospital in Belgrade. “A NATO spokesman explained the error by saying the hospital looked exactly like the Chinese Embassy.” (Dennis Miller)
Tough Break: Former U.N. Secretary General Boutros Boutros-Ghali has accused President Clinton of betraying him. “I didn’t even know they were dating.” (Jay Leno)
Changing Channels: Susan Lucci finally won a Daytime Emmy. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again.” (Kenny Noble Cortes)
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The Essential David Letterman
Thoughts on the minds of people in line for the new “Star Wars” movie:
10. “Nice of Cher to loan me her Academy Awards outfit.”
9. “First in line. . . . This’ll look good on my resume.”
8. “The babes should be coming over to talk to me any minute now.”
7. “I shouldn’t have to wait in this line--I’m Carrie Fisher.”
6. “I sense a disturbance in my hairline.”
4. “Princess Leia . . . Princess Leia . . . Princess Leia.”
1. “What a couple of geeks.”
Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.
