LAUGH LINES

Busted: “I guess you’ve heard [Bill] Bradley’s campaign is not doing well. Today his campaign bus was pulled over for driving in the carpool lane with not enough people in it.” (Jay Leno)

Live Wires: “Bill Bradley and Al Gore had a civilized debate [last week] in which they played up each other’s strengths instead of tearing each other down, and then they even agreed to share a new campaign slogan--’Shhh, don’t wake the audience.’ ” (Craig Kilborn)

After the Calm: “Scientists have found that the active ingredient in marijuana helps stops tremors in mice. They just lie around their cages listening to James Taylor music.” (Gary Easley)

Sudden Impact: “Polaroid Corp. announced it would sponsor pop star Britney Spears’ upcoming North American tour. According to unnamed sources, the company sees the sponsorship as ‘a perfect match between the two most familiar names in instant development.’ ” (Adam Tschorn)

In and Out: “A woman gave birth while she was stranded in a tree for four days [during the Mozambique floods] . . . and after giving birth, her HMO said she had to be out of the tree the next day.” (Leno)

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