NBA TOP TO BOTTOM

No. Team (record) Comment (last week’s position)

1. San Antonio (57-23) Most improved quality of life: Derek Anderson went from 15 wins to this. (1)

2. Lakers (54-26) Never a doubt (?): Way to get it together at very last moment, guys. (4)

3. Sacramento (54-25) May have to win out to take Pacific. Game today at Phoenix is the key. (2)

4. Philadelphia (54-25) Could be coincidence, couldn’t it? Since Mutombo arrived, 76ers are 12-11. (5)

5. Milwaukee (51-29) I can’t peg them, but neither can Karl: I bump Bucks to No. 3, they go 0-2. (3)

6. Utah (52-27) Greg Ostertag highlight: False teeth fly out, almost land in Rudy T’s drink. (7)

7. Miami (48-31) Yawn: After Riley questions manhood, heart, character, etc., Heat rallies. (11)

8. Dallas (50-29) After hype we learn: It’s pronounced Zhuzhu and he’ll have little impact. (6)

9. Portland (50-30) It’s official: $89.7-million roster will open up playoffs on the road. (8)

10. Phoenix (49-30) Hats off: Starting old man Elie and a rookie center, will still win 50. (9)

11. New York (47-32) McGrady’s a lock for most improved, but Camby, averaging 12 and 11, rates nod. (10)

12. Minnesota (46-33) Saunders says he’s OK with No. 8, because No. 7 could mean opening vs. Lakers. (12)

13. Charlotte (43-36) High point rest of way: announcing new arena, presumably in Charlotte. (13)

14. Toronto (45-35) Another nice job by GM Glen Grunwald, who added young legs to old roster. (14)

15. Seattle (43-37) Of course, it won’t be here: Ewing says new rules may mean two more years. (15)

16. Houston (44-37) Upcoming free agent Mo Taylor rests injury. Clipper officials feel deja vu. (16)

17. Orlando (42-37) Rivers on fade: “We clinched playoff spot and everyone thinks the season’s over.” (17)

18. Denver (39-41) Nuggets are 4-2 in April. The real miracle is that they stuck around. (18)

19. Indiana (39-40) Thomas’ promise to see Lakers again still has chance. Mathematically, anyway. (19)

20. Boston (35-45) If all these guys stay, Celtics could get to No. 8 or 7 or 6, but that’s all. (20)

21. Clippers (30-50) If all these guys stay--well, let’s just enjoy the moment, shall we? (21)

22. Detroit (32-47) Like Rodman on anti-psychotics: Wallace averages 17 rebounds since March 1. (23)

23. Cleveland (28-51) Wittman didn’t get IU job and this one doesn’t look too good either. (24)

24. Vancouver (22-58) Five coaches, three owners, two cities and a partridge in a pear tree. (25)

25. New Jersey (26-54) May not have been his best option: Since Marbury arrived, Nets are 70-122. (22)

26. Atlanta (24-56) You have to wonder about Terry-Knight tandem where big guy’s 6-2, 175. (26)

27. Washington (19-60) Jordan tells confidants he’d come back if Wizards could get Webber, Yao Ming. (27)

28. Golden State (17-63) Brainiac: Larry Hughes tries career-high 75 three-pointers while making 19%. (28)

29. Chicago (13-66) Dramatic victory over Wizards means Bulls can’t be the first to win and lose 70. (29)

GAME OF THE WEEK

PORTLAND AT LAKERS

* When--Today. * Time--2:30 p.m. * TV--Channel 4

* Story line--Yes, this may be a playoff preview. The Trail Blazers have lost 12 of 20, but they could be on an 82-game losing streak and the Lakers would still rather open against someone else.