LAUGH LINES

Back to School: “In Washington, D.C., they now have a school for men who have been arrested for soliciting prostitutes. This is kind of like traffic school. You’ve been arrested for soliciting a prostitute and you go to all the classes and the arrest is then wiped off your record. You know, I am guessing there’s not a lot of family members showing up on graduation day--’Way to go, Dad.”’ (Jay Leno)

An Exploding Population: “Scientists predict the world’s population will peak at 9 billion in the year 2070. But they also warned that it could get much bigger if the NBA adds more expansion teams.” (Craig Kilborn)

Road Hazards: “A recent survey says that the drivers of sport-utility vehicles are more likely than any other group to talk on a cell phone while driving. Apparently, SUV owners feel that the risk of tipping over and having a tire blow out at high speed just isn’t exciting enough. Now they want to add talking on a cell phone to the equation too.” (Leno)

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