SHHHHH: POEHLER WILL BE 40

Amy Poehler will turn 40 in September. And it’s not the number that scares her. It’s the thought that she might actually have to commemorate the occasion.

“Oh my god, I hate birthdays,” Poehler says. “I never celebrate them. I have no interest.”

It’s a stance diametrically opposed to the celebratory philosophy of her “Parks and Recreation” alter ego, Leslie Knope, and more aligned to that of Leslie’s stoic boss, Ron Swanson. In a recent episode, Leslie discovers Ron’s birth date -- a date he had redacted from all government documents -- and threatens to throw him a party.

“There are a lot of terrible things about Leslie,” Ron says, “but the worst one is how thoughtful she can be.”

Leslie does end up throwing Ron a surprise party. But it’s a party for only one and it has all of his favorite things -- a steak dinner, a bottle of Lagavulin single-malt Scotch whiskey and a private screening of “The Bridge on the River Kwai.”

Perfect. So perfect, we asked Nick Offerman, who plays Ron, what gift would work best for Poehler this year.

“The most appropriate gift for Amy’s 40th would be another Hummer H3, maybe in army green, to go with the one [Jay] Leno gave her for her 35th,” Offerman jokes. “That guy can gift.”

But wait a minute. It turns out that Poehler already has a perfect plan, one she’d like to now send to husband Will Arnett in a “coded message.”

“Are you ready? Hot. Air. Balloon,” Poehler says, laughing. “He’ll have to figure it out. But that’s all he needs to know.”

--Glenn Whipp